I finally got to see Sports Medicine specialist Dr William Hazel (M.D., FAAOS, FACS) yesterday. After filling out the obligatory paperwork (no I don't need another copy of the HIPPA regulations) I get called back to wait in a little patient's room which, for some reason, is about 90 degrees. The friendly orderly leaves me with copies of Glamour, Sports Illustrated, and Newsweek to read. It's too early for a football addition so I skipped the SI. The Newsweek has Hillary Clinton staring at me with her big blue eyes (she was born with brown) and promised "exclusive" interview questions with answers not covered in her book. The Glamour magazine had a picture of a Claudia Schiffer look-a-like and the headline "Men's addition." This obviously well thumbed periodical hadn't been replaced since it's February release. And why replace it with cover teasers like "sexy hair in 20 minutes" and "what men really want in bed at age: 20, 30, 40" and "what does an orgasm feel like to him?"

Yeah, I went for the Hillary Clinton story...well, first anyway. I thumbed through the "exclusive" interview seeing that there was nothing really new or interesting then read a couple pages from her book. When she described Bill the Yale student as having a "Viking" look with frazzled red hair and a bushy beard (backed up by a non-flattering picture) I decided I'd seen enough. I traded books grabbing Glamour and turned to page 200 where the article "21 things she could do to make you excited" awaited. It was all about interpersonal stuff and not very inventive. It was in fact depressingly clich�. Back to the index and then on to "men answering questions." Boring, it was all about stopping guys in the streets and asking them why they had just bought flowers. I was about to turn to an article on "dating questions" when the doctor made his appearance.

Dr Hazel walked in with an intern in tow. Introductions were made all around and we got to looking at the paperwork I'd just filled out. He looked up at me and asked if I really was a 13 year old middle schooler to which I assured him if I was, I'd still be able to fit into my size 32 jeans, maybe even 30s. We have several minutes of paper shuffling and the intern is send to get my correct, HIPPA secured, documents that somehow ended up someone else's folder. While the intern is gone, I start to tell him my story.

"I do this kind of medieval martial art kind of "like kendo" activity but with solid rattan swords and metal armor. I'm in an organization called the Society for Creative Anachronism..."

The doctor looks up, "Ah, the SCA. Yeah, I've treated a number of people from your group. Where is the injury?"

At this point the intern returns with my paperwork and I'm grinning ear to ear as I won't have to show him some of the moves my arm has to make, "Left shoulder. I was hit with a great sword right on the tip of the shoulder." The intern's eyes are crawling into his scalp as I continue, "The blow pretty much numbed the arm for the rest of the day such that I had to stop fighting."

Dr Hazel was looking through my chart now, "So what type of treatment did you get?"

"It happened about 9 months ago. I got an X-ray within a week but didn't uncover anything. They gave me anti-inflammatories and declared it a deep bone bruise." I'm having to tax my memory to get it all right but I struggle on, "It wasn't as bad but never did seem to go away. I went back a second time 3 months later and was given more and stronger anti-inflammatories and was told to do stretching exercises. Since then it has been steadily getting worse, not better so I told my new primary care physician about it. She poked my shoulder once and declared I needed an MRI and to see you. Somewhere in there I visited a chiropractor that hooked up electrodes, pushed muscles, and finished up with industrial strength Icy Hot. Now I'm here."

"Well, let's take a look..."

He then proceeded to do all the pokes, prods, "do this", "do that", and "stop me from's" that you might expect. We were interrupted several time by emergency calls and the occasional scream from down the hall. No kidding, screams. Anyway, his damage done to my body he started to look at the MRI, explaining to me and the intern what he was seeing (I'll tell you in a minute). Turns out the "white stuff" was fluid that wasn't suppose to be there and that I got a bit of that in the AC Joint.

Note: Though I never did find out what the "black stuff" in the MRI that I couldn't figure out what it was, I'm now pretty confident it was NOT what Corby described as "Black Republican Ick."

But Dr Hazel wasn't satisfied. He wanted X-rays before he pronounced a final judgment. So I sit for two more photos, another 10 minutes in the little hot patient room, and finally get to see what's going on in the shoulder. Okay, here it is without the proper terms as I don't do Latin and I didn't take notes.

I have divots in the bone of the arm where it meets the shoulder in at the AC Joint. This area also has too large of a gap that is uneven and there is and arthritic growth that is jagged and uneven (that barely shows up on the X-ray) that is partially filling the gap. He is not at all sure that bone hadn't been chipped away at some point as well.

Oh, well...as long as it isn't a big deal.

Treatment. Do nothing, try cortisone and more anti-inflammatories, and surgery. If I go surgery, they take out the bad section (leaving a whole) and I am out for 6-8 weeks. While this is an outpatient surgery it means I would be able to pick up my sons for at least a couple of weeks. We agree that I should start by trying the cortisone shot.

Now, if you have never had one you need to know that they hurt a bit. I had one in my hand a couple of years ago to take care of a bone spur issue (yeah, fighting related) and yes it hurt like a bitch but no not something a grown man can't handle. I sat on the edge of the bed and he felt around till he once again found to offending spot. Needle goes in with a grunt from me followed by some measured breathes. Then he injected the cortisone...

I've known pain in my past. I once went the entire weekend on a boy scout camping trip with the nerve of my front broken tooth exposed. Pain is a transient state. It can be ignored or dealt with knowing that eventually it will pass. Sometimes you will have to feel MORE pain for a short period of time to make less painful annoyances go away. We all know this intellectually and thus we all find ways for dealing with the treatment.

When he started to inject the treatment into the joint, a new life of pain I've never dreamed imaginable entered my reality. I can only imagine it felt something like Pavla felt when she got an epidural (during delivery). I'm pretty sure my scream was MUCH louder than those we had been listening to earlier. I went into immediate shock turning as white as snow and collapsing on the rice paper covered bed.

"I think I found the spot," the doctor offers gleefully.

I've now broken out into a cold sweat and have absolutely no moisture in my mouth, "Well did I at least hold still long enough for you to finish?"

"Only about half."

"Well, let's get finished."

"Ummm, maybe you should come back later once this has a chance to work. At least we need to wait a couple of minutes till you've rested some."

At this point I'm determined, "Let's wait a couple of minutes but we'll finish it today." I'm not at all sure it was proper to talk to your doctor like this but I was already psyching myself up for Round 2.

Ten minutes later, Dr Hazel and the intern are back and this time I'm sitting in an armed chair with a back. I clutched the arms tightly as the needle reentered my shoulder, this time from another angle. At first it was once again the biting, stinging pain of a needle entering flesh. I knew that he had started the injection only a split second before I passed completely out from the pain.

I awoke to being dragged back flat on my new rice paper covered friend, praying that this time it was over. Yes, it was over. Yes, I need water. No, I'll be fine. Yes, I'll schedule a return visit in 2-3 weeks. No, I won't do any major activity for 2-3 days. Yes, I'll be paying with credit card.

By the time I had gotten to fighter practice three hours later the pain was all but forgotten. That ache which had been my constant companion for the last 3 months was at least temporarily replaced with a different sensation. Did it work? Honestly, probably not to the extent I'd hope. Will I go back for another cortisone shot? If the doctor thinks it will help. Will I get the operation? Possibly, but I desperately want to make fighters like Cuan, Robert, Daemon, and others beat me out for the privilege of following Ragnar and Kyneburh.

My training resumes this weekend at Kingdom Assessments. See you all there.

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