And then my life got a bit more stressful. Maybe I should back up (cue Scooby Doo "remember all" music)

My week started with a bang. I got up bright and early Monday morning getting into work to go through a final "dry run" of a product demo that was scheduled for 11am that day with some VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE. We had run tests on Thursday and found some issues. We ran test on Friday and found none. We ran test on Monday morning and were satisfied that the application was working well but that my machine, a Compaq laptop that hereafter shall be referred to as "DemoPrime," might be affecting the performance so we were going to try our "Backup #1."

Note: Now, when you are giving a demo that is critical for securing more funding, it is important to have a number of Backup options. As this demo was one that consisted of half browser-based and half .exe based, it is important to have all relevant/current software on all Backup Machines...keep this in mind.

Well, I pull out Backup #1 that was provided to me by the kind folks in the networking/operations group and tested its compatibility with our overhead projector. As this is always the wild card and it was working fine, I decide to take a minute to get my second cup of coffee of the day and then start hooking up the remainder of the connections. But there is a problem. There is always a problem in stories such as these. It didn't have a network card. Hell, it didn't even have modem card. After much searching, neither the PCI slot nor the computer bag could be induced to choke up any connectivity goodies. So I take a moment, as it is now 10:45am, and make the executive decision that we'll have to go with DemoPrime.

Oh, did I mention that the two of our guys participating in this funding meeting are to be conferenced in? This is kind of cool actually as the conference room has a satellite phone and my company provides its program managers with a 1-800 number and a PIN for this purpose. We had recently switched to a new vendor but it had worked wonderfully up until now. I had emailed them earlier with the bridge info.

Well, as I move Backup #1 off the table to go back into its carrying case, I neglected to first unplug the projector cable. Anyone remember that full cup of coffee from Act 1? Yep, dumped it all over DemoPrime. DemoPrime was soaked, drenched in sticky aspartame filled goodness. Backup #1 was immediately thrown aside as I dove in full lifeguard mode at DemoPrime to rescue it from the pool of hot circuit killing java.

10:48am - In a flash, DemoPrime was on its side under the table DRIPPING coffee at about the same rate as that which was spilling off the mahogany table onto our plush carpeting. I run to the kitchen to get paper towels.

10:50am - I'm back in the room with a dozen Brawnys sopping up the spill which had almost reached the projector. I'm getting it up put it's still sticky.

10:54am - After a run back to the kitchen for a cup of hot water and a dozen more Brawnys, I liberally dump the water onto the expensive conference room table and start mopping. Once the table is again dry, I give DemoPrime a damp towel bath that it doesn't seem to mind. I take a second to stare at the active matrix screen that shows nothing more than a series of red, green, and blue lines. DemoPrime...is offically dead.

10:56am - My client project manager arrives as I throw the used Brawnys into the circular filing cabinet and I shake his hand. I tell him we are just finishing up our "preparation" and that we'll be ready in a couple of minutes. My partner and supervisor arrives and I inform her of the situation asking her to play "host" until I can get back with "Backup #2."

10:57am - The BIG GUYS arrive as I'm heading out the door. Handshakes all around and a "would you please excuse me for a moment?"

10:58am - Now, Backup #2 belongs to another employee and there is no "Backup #3," luckily she was still there and able to turn it over instantly. I thanked her and ran back to the room.

11:00am - I straighten my clothing and "calmly and confidently" walk back into the room all smiles. I pass the client project manager my little conference call moderator card that, once again, my company provides for all our program managers and ask him if he would mind dialing us in while I finished setup.

11:02am - We get the first error message from the conferencing service.

11:03am - I can't get this machine to show up on the overhead projector.

11:04am - Someone else tries to dial the conference number and gets an error message. I realize that I have to restart Backup #2 to get it to recognize the projector.

11:05am - The BIG GUY is looking at his watch.

11:06am - Backup #2 has restarted but I don't have the password required to get access again. Someone asks if I have the phone numbers with me for the two remote guys we need. I point to DemoPrime whose screen I had left open which was now displaying a very pretty yet disturbing shade of white and say, "Yup, in there."

11:10am - After getting their numbers from my desk and the password for accessing Backup #2, I'm now back in the conference room dragging a phone that, while not a satellite, could conference two additional locations without needing a bridge. We call both their numbers...they are both busy of course.

11:12am - The BIG GUY is looking at his watch.

11:15am - I now have Backup #2 up and running and showing up on the projector. I've got a runner keeping an ear out for my phone and orders to pass me a sticky with messages as to who calls in and from where. I start to adjust the security setting for the browser, as required by the application, when it dawns on me, we didn't install the .exe file which was part two of the demo.

11:18am - After sending one more runner to get the IP address for the test server the demo is running on, we finally get the homepage/login screen. Yes, we got in. Yes it was running. No, it didn't have all the large images pre-cached as we had done with DemoPrime.

11:12am - The BIG GUY is looking at his watch.

11:20am - I now have both remote guys telephone numbers with them standing by. I get one on the line, put him on hold, get the other, hit "feature 3," "handsfree," and put the receiver back in its home. Both lines go blank. Sigh, the Admin who had been brought in to take minutes now takes over the redialing.

11:23am - The demo starts 23 minutes late. After a few words from the client project manager, I take over with the help of the two remote guys following along with the same thing up in front of them. I was great. I was fabulous. The two remote guys couldn't hear a word I was saying. Since we couldn't move my position or the phone and the phone was not designed to work over the noise of the projector, I was forced to use my "outside voice" just to enable them to hear every other word. But the product looked great.

11:30am - The BIG GUY looked very interested, asked great questions, and nodded frequently. Sigh.

11:50am - We finish the first part of the demo when a question comes along that is a good segue into starting the second half so one of the guys that is remote and is still ignorant of DemoPrime's state offers "Why don't we show him the SimGen tool?"

I thought about it than replied, "I'm afraid we can't. After we tested it this morning I discovered it had a major flaw."

"Really, what's that?"

"It doesn't have an appreciation for a good morning cup of coffee."

The demo ended with everyone having a good laugh and a number of thumbs up for the work we've been doing and our promises to show them the other piece as a part of our seeking additional future funding to finish it up request (I guess "always leave them wanting more" comes to mind).

I am now the butt of many a coffee joke. I had a children's sippy cup waiting for me on my desk the next morning. DemoPrime, after 2 full days of drying is now back to life and fully functional (I'm typing this with him right now). The first thing I did was backup my files to a company fileserver. The second was to splash my 16 oz bottle of Diet Mountain Dew on my telephone.

But that is another story...

Anyway, for them what care....

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