One thing I have noticed is that all of my SCA friends stay away from the topic of sex. One of the reasons this is the case is we see each other WAY too much to want to know THAT kind of information about a person. Well, all SCAdians can skip this post (yeah right, like you are not going to keep reading).

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As I've read though the different sites of the people who visit me, sign my guestbook, or list me in their favorites I note that, in most cases, the topic of sex is a reoccurring theme (yes, I try to visit you all). Well, this is my one foray into the topic. Enjoy.

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I've noted that a number of you have pictures up with what you call your "bedroom eyes." Well, fair is fair. You can see mine here.

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Factoid: Some surveys show that as many as 90% of men masturbate in the shower. The rest sing a song. Do you know what they sing? Yeah, me neither.

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While in college, I use to work 3rd shift stocking grocery shelves. When on break, I'd read all "those" woman magazines to find out what women REALLY wanted. Very educational but they usually got what the men wanted wrong. Here is my top 10 list of things men want from a women in bed.

1. To be held and talked to in a meaningful manner focusing on those core items that keep the relationship fun and alive.
2. Blow jobs
3. Blow jobs
4. Blow jobs
5. Blow jobs
6. Blow jobs
7. Blow jobs
8. Blow jobs
9. Blow jobs
10. Blow jobs

For a real list of what men want, check out this article at iVillage

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Factoid: They say that average male burns 250 calories during the act of sex. I burn 250 calories, one low melting point wax candle, one 100% cotton flannel duvet that the candle fell on, one set of shear bed drapes that touch the four corners of the duvet, and one tray of soft rise chocolate chip cookies that we left in the oven for 2 and a half hours before we realized our mistake.

For a more detailed breakdown of calories spent, visit here.

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And latestly, someone else's rules for women to live by. Some of them are even funny.

1. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
2. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
3. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down.
4. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation or motorcycles.
8. Shopping is something we will never enjoy.
9. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
10. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
11. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.
12. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
13. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
14. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
15. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
16. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
17. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
18. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
19. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
20. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
21. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
22. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
23. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
24. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.

Anyway, for them what care, there it is.

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