I've been watching this new show on the FX Network called The Shield that I really like. I don't think I've ever seen a show that explores the shades of grey quite like this one does. I bring this up only because of the closing minutes of last night's episode. Vic Mackey (the main character and lead detective) was helping Connie (a crack-whore) get over her drug addiction. He tried in part because she had a son that Vic felt needed his mother. In the end, he failed to help her as she went back to her ways. We, the viewing audience, were left with the image of Vic holding onto Connie's crying son as she walked out the door. This child was straining in Vic's arms to reach for his mother's departing back. The power of drugs in her life too strong a pull for the pull of motherhood to overcome. Innocent as he was, the baby didn't understand why his mama was not holding him. He was crying. The confusion on the child's face brought me to tears.

Nowadays, when I watch movies or programs that involve children I am often struck by the unquestioning love a child grants to its parents. Being a parent requires no test, no job training, no minimum qualifications as any two people can claim the role. In my humble opinion, you have to earn the title "parent" everyday. My son loves to wrestle, ride piggyback, and sing with his daddy. He can get to be a bit much. After a while of doing this, I find I'd just like a bit of quiet time to veg and I can sometimes get snippy and short with him. He looks hurt at me not understanding why I don't want him as the center of my everything. I can see in his eyes that I AM the center of his world and that, for all he knows, the joy that fills his heart when we play is all that can be filling mine. He doesn't understand that stress of work and bills, house and home, friends and family. He only sees daddy's rejection of his love, not understanding the truth. And then I see it...the hurt of his innocence...and I hug him and tell him I'm sorry for yelling. He's my boy. He IS the center of my life. He is why I do all these other things. If I can't give him what he needs today, now, why bother preparing for his future? And so we play some more till we both fall asleep on the couch together...watching cartoons.

Anyway, for them what care...