There once was a member of the elite force of the newly formed superhero team the God Squad who was known to his friends as Master Hymn, a Man of Note. Having made his conversion to the church, he found that not only did others find joy in his singing but in fact became enraptured by his seemingly mystical accompaniments. Master Hymn's powers first manifested themselves during one service in which the congregation started off singing "A little walk with Jesus" but slowly joined in singing his misheard version of "A little chocolate Jesus." He learned that he could truly frustrate the bad guys by singing incorrect versions of songs which, long after the battle was over, would still be stuck in their heads. Some of his favorite bastardizations included:

"Hey, Mr. Tangerine Man..."
"Master of pumpkins I'm pulling your seeds"
"I'm the ice cream man/stuff me in a plastic bag"
"I was born to wear cologne"
"Ground Control to Mao Tse-tung"
"Sweet dreams are made of cheese"
"Sherry don't like it/Rock the catbox"
"There's a bathroom on the right"

His singing could inspire, enthrall, or entice others to bend to this words. But always did this sinner attempt to avoid using his gift in a sinful manner. He chose to use his powers for good and the betterment of man. How did this servant fall from grace? I'll tell you.

There came a time when our hero faced the dark Duke of Evil himself. This father of lies shook Master Hymn to the core with the pronouncement that the Duke of Evil was in fact his father. Well, the truth is that during one of their fights, the Duke of Evil simply said "who's your daddy?" but this was misinterpreted by Master Hymn to be some claim of patronage. In an instant our jovial hero made his choice to succumb to his baser instinct and forever more runs with the villainous group known as the Checkered Souls.

Now known as Dirge, the Lord of the Mourning, he uses his parodies to bend the will of the good. Once he's been in your mind, he need only hum a few bars of the melody and you'll grip your head screaming. His new favorites include the likes of:

"I yak in the saddle again"
"Dirty deeds done with sheep"
"Your love is like bad venison"
"You give love a Band-Aid"
"Only the lonely get laid"

When he is not incapacitating you with bad lyrics, his dark songs are on subjects such as death, destruction, and annoying hang nails. While Dirge uses his songs, hot pecks, and his mighty sword, B-Sharp, to the benefit of his brothers in evil, he is but one of many of the dastardly and dangerous Checkered Souls.

Who will stand against them? Who CAN stand against them? Stay tuned true believers.